Finding Unity Read online

  “You’d be handsome with pink. What do the people you work with think of your hair?”

  Seok didn’t often talk about his work. As an architect who focused on historic preservation, his work could be solitary. It was only when he had to make the cases to community boards or companies that he had to interact.

  “I don’t know,” he answered. “Sometimes they stare, but if they do, they shrug it off pretty quickly. My work speaks for itself.” He wasn’t saying that to be smug.

  They’d reached the end of the block. Gently, he guided her in a tight circle until they faced the way they’d come. Matisse and Apollo were still on the lawn, talking and laughing about something.

  Nora paused, and he stopped short, whipping his gaze toward her, afraid she was tired or had hurt herself. But she was staring at the house, studying it. “I can’t believe you restored this place all on your own.”

  “I had help from the other guys.” Matisse, in the beginning, and later on Ryan and the others. “Apollo is excellent at demolition.”

  She chuckled. “I bet he knows how to swing a sledgehammer like no one’s business.”

  He laughed. Apollo worked out more than any of them, so talk about his strength didn’t make Seok jealous at all.

  The smile on her face faded as she faced him. “I’m worried about you. I know you don’t want to talk, and that’s okay, but I can feel something building.” She shrugged. “And when I say it’s okay, I really mean I’m dying for you to talk to me, and it’s driving me nuts, but I’m trying to be understanding.”

  Stepping closer until her sneakers touched the toes of his boots, he took her face between his palms. She looked up at him, honey brown eyes trailing over his face. God. He loved this woman.

  He touched his lips to hers, moving one hand from her cheek to the small of her back. She eased forward until they were pressed together, the length of her against him. Her curves fit him just right, softness giving way.

  Her tongue swept over his lips, a tentative question to which the answer was always a resounding, yes. Mint and strawberries from the smoothie Apollo had made her filled his senses. He drank her in, dragging his tongue over hers then sucking it into his mouth with a hard draw.

  A quiet moan had him drawing her even closer. He wanted to pound into her. He didn’t care they were on a sidewalk or that cars were honking as they drove by. If it had been up to Seok, he’d have lifted her into his arms and taken her right against the side of the house.

  “Yeah, man! Get some!” Raucous laughter brought him back to Earth as a car squealed down the street.

  “Seok.” Apollo’s deep voice had him pulling reluctantly away from his girl.

  Nora blinked dazed and drunken eyes, swaying toward him as if his kiss had made her lose her balance.

  He couldn’t help the pride making his lips twitch. “I’m not sorry.”

  She shook her head.

  “Well, I am,” Apollo called over his shoulder as he trekked back to the house. “I don’t want to punch some dude out and go to jail. Not today.”

  Good point.

  Seok trailed his fingers from Nora’s back to her shoulders. “Want to go inside?”

  She nodded. “I’ve been waiting and waiting for you to ask me that.”

  Chapter 3

  Nora

  Finally.

  That was the word that went through her head. Finally. Finally.

  It had been a month since she’d come back to Vermont and while she and Seok had had some hot and heavy groping sessions—her breath caught just thinking about them—he hadn’t pushed for more. He’d held back.

  Was this more?

  He wrapped his arm around her waist but made no move to hurry her. Butterflies went mad inside her stomach. She hated her limp and how slow it made her. If she could just get inside faster, he wouldn’t change his mind.

  As they approached Matisse and Apollo, the two guys faced them. “We’re running to Best Buy,” Apollo told them. “Matisse needs some wires and cables and computery things.”

  “Computery things.” Matisse dragged a hand down his face. “How many years have we lived together and that’s what you’ve learned?”

  Apollo gave him a dead-eyed stare. “What did I make you for breakfast this morning?”

  Pink stained Matisse’s cheeks. “A smoothie-thing.” He blew out a breath. “Fine.” Turning his attention back to them, he asked, “Do you need anything?”

  Seok paused, clearly thinking.

  “No,” she answered for him. For God’s sake, they didn’t need anything except to get into bed. “We’re good.”

  “Great!” Her answer didn’t faze him at all. Matisse started toward the car after giving Apollo’s shoulder a nudge. “Let’s go. Sooner we get there, sooner we’re done.”

  Apollo lifted his chin toward Seok and leaned over, kissing her gently. “Text if you think of anything.”

  Yep, yep, yep. “Will do.”

  Seok seemed happy to wait for them to pull out of the driveway. He even waved and at that, Nora knew she’d missed her window.

  They stood, watching the car drive away. When it turned the corner, she stepped toward the house, but before her foot even landed, Seok had wrapped her up, lifting her off her feet. “What are you doing?”

  He let her down to open the door and then he took her, slinging her across his chest like she was a bride, and carried her across the threshold. As soon as they were through, he slammed the door shut and stared down at her. His chest heaved like he had run a race, and his dark eyes glittered.

  He stared at her like she was prey. Wrapping his hand around her neck, he dragged her toward him and kissed her. No. Kissed was too weak a word—he consumed her.

  His tongue swept into her mouth, demanding. Everything about him, his hands, the way his body crowded her, dominated her senses.

  Her breath left her, and she bit his lower lip, just a nip, in warning. Jerking his head back, he stared down at her and a slow, lazy smile grew on his face. “Upstairs.”

  He took her hand, tugging her behind him until they got to the stairs, and then he lifted her. Nora had never thought of Seok as an athlete, but he took the stairs two at a time. He opened the door to the third floor, where his room and office was, and took those two at a time as well.

  She studied him, taking in the tightness of his features. His beautiful cheekbones stood out, and his gaze was narrowed as if he could only focus on one thing at a time.

  And his focus right now? Getting her in bed.

  Sunlight flooded the entire top floor of the house. Seok’s room was the biggest, stretching the entire length of the home. The side facing the street had floor to ceiling windows, while along the roof were higher, smaller windows. At the back of the house was a door that opened to a small balcony. It was on that side that he’d set up his bedroom.

  Carefully, he lowered her to his bed, placing her in what felt like a warm beam of sun. She stretched like a cat, watching him peel his t-shirt over his head and snap open the button on his jeans.

  His skin was like cream, so beautiful and smooth she had to touch him.

  Getting to her knees, she reached for him. She curled her finger in a belt loop, and with a little tug, he was right where she wanted him.

  Seok raked his hands through her short curls, fingertips grazing her scalp, and she sighed. He eased her forward until she could kiss right above his belly button. He jumped at the first touch of her lips, and goosebumps broke out along his skin.

  One hand left her head to trail down the side of her face. His fingertips were light, tickling her as they moved from her cheek to her neck and then to her shoulder to ease her back.

  She lay there for a long moment, letting him look as long as he wanted, but after a while, she started to feel uneasy. He didn’t move, he didn’t touch her, he just looked.

  Lifting a hand to his face, she touched his mouth, grazing his lips.

  “I don’t deserve this.”

  What?
She grabbed his hand, dragging him down to the bed then slung a leg over him. Her core lined up perfectly with his hips. His dick was hard, and she couldn’t help a slow glide over it before she focused. “What are you talking about?”

  He didn’t answer.

  Ah. This was part of the secret. Part of what had been keeping him away from her, from taking this step.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” she said, and his gaze skittered away from her. It was then it hit her. “Are you going somewhere, Seok?” Her throat tightened, but she forced herself to stay calm.

  “If I am, it’s not because I want to.”

  “Bullshit.” Her voice shook so she swallowed hard. When he glanced away from her, she cupped his chin and brought him back to face her. “You have choices. The only reason to leave is if you’re not happy with me. With this. Otherwise, your entire life is here. Your home. Your friends. Your work. It’s all right here.”

  He trailed his hands up her arms to cup her elbows. “The most important part of my life is here. You. I never want to leave you. But I have responsibilities the others don’t. There are expectations I have to meet.”

  “Have to?” A dozen thoughts ran through her mind. She hadn’t pushed him, but these cryptic answers were confusing. “What is it?” She pushed his dark hair away from his face and leaned down to kiss him. She kept her hands there, propped on either side of him as he lifted his chin. He nibbled her chin and along her jaw, a clear distraction, and she groaned before sliding back and sitting up.

  “When will you tell me?” she asked. “It feels like we have a sword hanging over our head.”

  “It’s always been there,” he replied. Her body had been so warm against his but there was a chill in his voice that blasted over her skin.

  What the hell was going on? “Seok.”

  He sat up, arms going around her back, knees bending to keep her caged in. “Nora. I love you. That will never change.” Mouth crashing against hers, he kissed her. Inhaled her. Devoured her.

  Seok had the ability to drive her insane and to push her body to heights she never thought she’d reach. If this kiss was meant to wipe her mind clean of all thoughts, then it worked.

  He moved his hands to her neck, one in front and one in back, and squeezed lightly, like a warning. A reminder that while they could bring each other pleasure, there was also the potential for hurt.

  She didn’t like that—didn’t like the roughness and the desperation in his touch—so she softened. For each thrust, she rolled. She curled her tongue around his, exploring his taste.

  It took all her focus to make her touch light, just a graze, a tease over his back and through his hair. And eventually, he softened as well.

  Shifting, he laid her back on the bed, never once ending their kiss. She felt his hands pushing at her pants and helped by kicking off her shoes. He dragged his hands up her sides and pulled her t-shirt over her head then leaned away to study her. The sunlight that had warmed her was suddenly too bright and revealing.

  Her body had changed, and she found herself squirming self-consciously under his gaze. What would he think of the pale purple scars marring her brown skin? She was thinner than she’d ever been but also softer. The muscle she’d built from walking everywhere was gone. In fact, one leg was thinner than the other as a result of the walking cast she’d had for so long.

  But Seok didn’t look at her like he found her lacking. At the scar on her hip, he pressed a kiss. He held himself over her, trailing kisses down her hip, over her side and to her thigh. He moved all the way to her knee, traced a scar with his tongue, and then pushed her leg to the side, making room for his shoulders.

  Seok’s tongue had undone her before, but she didn’t want that now. She wanted him. Inside her. It felt like a cop-out—a way for him to give pleasure without really giving her what she wanted. A connection.

  It was so hard to keep her head when he flooded her with sensation. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back. His fingers crept beneath the side of her panties until he found her warm, wet core.

  She gasped as cool air flowed over her. He dragged her underwear down her legs and thrust one finger inside her, curling it then pulling it out.

  “Seok.” Damn him. She had to keep her head no matter how good he made her feel.

  When his mouth touched her core, she exploded. He sucked her clit into her mouth, pulling hard against the engorged nub and then tapped his tongue against her. All the while, his fingers rammed inside her. Over and over.

  Damn him.

  She was too close, so close it almost hurt to pull away from him, but she did. She squeezed her legs and rolled until she could come up on her knees. He stared up at her, frozen, his body splayed over the bed.

  Still. Wearing. His. Jeans.

  This was bullshit.

  Their relationship wasn’t a one-way street, and she didn’t want a pity fuck. “If you don’t want this Seok, we can stop.”

  He pushed himself up, arms flexing. His chin glistened from her, and she swallowed hard.

  Kneeling like her, he took her hand and pressed it against his dick. “Does this feel like I don’t want you?”

  She curled her hand around him, resisting the urge to push it down his pants and stroke him. “No.”

  “I had my tongue buried in your pussy. Do you think that’s because I don’t want you?”

  God. Her body heated from her neck to the base of her spine. “No.”

  He dropped a hand between them, covering her mound and pushing two fingers inside her. He fucked her slowly, holding her stare the entire time. Lifting his eyebrows, he smiled. “It feels like you want me, too.”

  “I want you more than anything.” She took a breath and released it. “But I also want your trust. I want to know what’s frightening you. Something about this…” She struggled to explain her feelings. "As much as I want it—it feels like you’re keeping yourself apart from me.”

  He glanced away then, dragging his hands along his jean clad thighs. Standing fast, he pushed his hands through his hair.

  “I have to go,” he finally said. “Back to Korea. I thought I would be able to stay here, in America, with all of you, but I’m afraid I fooled myself.”

  Chapter 4

  Nora

  Of all the things she thought he was going to say, that wasn’t it. “Forever?”

  “The expectation is that, yes, I stay there forever.”

  He came back to sit on the bed. Nora shifted, tucking her legs beneath her. She didn’t relish having this conversation in her bra and underwear, but at least he was talking.

  What she knew about his past she could count on one hand. He was from South Korea—one. He’d lived in Canada for a time—two.

  Anything beyond that… it was blank.

  “Do you want to stay there? Has that always been your plan?”

  He was silent, but stood abruptly and paced the length of the bed. Reaching down, he grabbed his shirt off the floor. “Never.”

  She stood as well, stopping him before he could put the shirt back on. “But someone expects it of you. Your family, I’m guessing.”

  He didn’t look at her. Instead, he trained his gaze on the floor. “I was brought up knowing this was my destiny. I thought I’d escaped for a while.” His hair fell into his face when he shook his head, so she pushed it away and left her hand on his cheek. “I didn’t. It’s as if they let me believe what I wanted. They were just biding their time.”

  “Korea.”

  He lifted his gaze to her and then dropped it again. “Yeah.”

  So he didn’t want to go there but felt like he should. She understood that sense of responsibility.

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  Spinning away, he suddenly flung the t-shirt against the door. “There is no we. Only I. It is my burden. My responsibility. My loyalty.”

  Except now he’d confided in her. “A secret told is a burden shared.”

  Scoffing, he shook his head. “That’s not
how it works.”

  “I’m going to help you carry this, Seok,” she said. She limped across the floor to him and tucked her fingers in his jeans. With a tug, she pulled him against her so their skin was flush. “If I have to buy a ticket to Seoul, I won’t leave you to worry about this alone.”

  Seok was a blur of movement. He lifted her into his arms and kissed her, but this wasn’t like his kiss before. This one was gentle.

  Placing her on the bed, he knelt over her and kissed her again.

  It was a sweet kiss, like a wish or a compliment, and she loved it. He was letting her in with this kiss, not distracting and deflecting.

  His fingers trailed along her ribs as he moved over her, sliding between her legs. She made room for him immediately and wrapped her arms around his back. Smoothing her hands over him, she returned each of his kisses with one of her own.

  That tightness in her chest eased. They were fully in this together.

  He pulled back, just for a second, to get his pants and underwear off. Then he was back, his long, thick length nestled between her legs.

  Nora rolled her hips, coating him in her wetness. It was getting hard to breathe. He lowered his head to her breast, drawing her nipple into his mouth. He rested the flat of his palm on her lower back, urging her to roll and buck against him.

  “Nora. I’ve wanted this for so long. But what if—” He lifted his head to stare at her.

  She kissed him, licking the seam of his mouth and then drew back. “Even if the very worst happens and we somehow don’t end up together, then I know I wanted this. With every bit of my heart, I want this, Seok.”

  He groaned. “Fuck.” His hand left her back to pull out a drawer next to his bed. He wasn’t at all coordinated. The box of condoms fell out of his hand, spilling onto the floor. “Fuck.”

  Nora let her head fall back to the pillow and laughed. “At least you have them.” But they didn’t need them. After an oops with Ryan last year, she had gone on the pill. These guys made her lose her mind at times, and she didn’t want to leave anything up to chance. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean.”